More Shorties

1.
    Two men walk into a bar both eating sandwiches. The barman calls over 'Oi, you cant eat your own food in here!' So, the two men look at each other and swap sandwiches.
 
2.
    A group of 5 men drove over to Ireland. They were stopped by Paddy who happened to be a traffic warden.
    'Excuse me sir, do you realize it is against the law to have more that four people in this car?' he asked.
    'Well, how do you mean? There are five seats, five seat belts, why is it against the law?' replied the driver.
    'Your car is a fiat ciento. In Spain, ciento means four. That means the car is only made for four people, I'm afraid I'm going to have to book you!' Paddy explained.
    'That's not fair, I want to see your supervisor immediately. I'm not going fall for this' the driver replied.
    'I'm afraid that is not possible sir,' replied Paddy. 'Murphy is over the road dealing with two people in a fiat uno!'
 
3.
    Paddy and Murphy were on a bus. Paddy went upstairs while Murphy stayed down. 10 mins later, Paddy runs down the stairs as white as a sheet and shaking life a leaf.
    'What's wrong Pad?' asked Murphy.
    'Well, the bus is moving, and turning etc, but there is no driver upstairs!'
4.
    An Irishman is in a pub talking to his mates.
    'I'm going to book my holiday tomorrow. Don't know where to go yet though. And your not advising me again!' said the Irishman.
    'Why ever not Pad? You've always enjoyed the places we've told you to go to!' replied one of his friends.
    'Well, 2 years ago you said to go to the Caribbean's. Which was lovely, but I came home a few weeks later my wife was pregnant. Then last year you said go to Hawaii, which was great. Low and behold, I come home a few weeks later she pregnant again!'
    'Well it may just be coincidence, how are you going to stop it this year Pad?' Replied a mate.
    'This year boys, I'm taking her with me!'
 

These Jokes are courtesy of Matthew           Thanks Matthew

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