1. When his .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its
intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked.
2. Laborer Alexander Robinson of Mobile, Alabama, redefined the
limits of tactlessness when he opened his eyes after surgery to restore his
sight and said agreeably to his wife: 'Boy, you sure have got fat in four
years.'
3. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a
finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little
hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
4. Mourners at the funeral of Anna Bochinsky in Moinesti,
Rumania, were naturally somewhat taken aback when she abruptly leapt
from her coffin as it was being carried to the
grave. Before they could react to this unexpected outburst,
the woman bounded into the nearest road, where she was run over and killed by a
passing car.
5. An American tourist in South America had the misfortune to be
attacked by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon.
Seeking refuge, he leapt into the river - and was devoured by piranha fish.
6. A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather coconuts from
trees demonstrated a pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt
onto the shoulders of a passerby in Kuala Lumpur and tried to
twist his head off. The passerby was treated at a local hospital for a sprained
neck.
7. In Fort Lauderdale, Florida, a sixteen-year-old youth was charged
with beating up his fifteen-year-old wife after the latter hid the
caps to his toy pistol.
8. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her dead.
9. One of the criteria by which Miss Nude USA was chosen in 1979 was taste
in clothing.
10.After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby
bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were
very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered
for 3 days.
11.In Minneapolis, USA, 28 year old Derrick L Richardson has been
charged with third-degree murder of his much
loved cousin, Ken E Richardson. According to local
police, Derrick had suggested to Ken that they play a game of
Russian Roulette, but, having no revolver,
instead put a semiautomatic pistol to his cousin's head.
Apparently, he did not realize that one bullet always loads into the firing
chamber of a semiautomatic.
12.Texan prisons have banned convicts on
death row from having a last cigarette, on the grounds
that it is bad for their health. However, to compensate for
this, condemned men will instead be permitted to chew a stick
of celery.
13.An American teenager was in the hospital
yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an
oncoming train. When asked about how he received the injuries, the lad
told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to
a moving train before he was hit.
14.Thrash-happy judges in Saudi Arabia have sentenced a Filipino man to 75
lashes for possession of alcohol - after he was caught with two
chocolate liqueurs at an airport.
15.Following the initiatives of the Afghan Taliban government,
which has banned kite-flying, TV watching and
wearing white socks, Iran is also cracking down on its more
decadent citizens. Ayatollah Mohammed Yadzi has decreed that dog walking is to
be made illegal, saying that taking dogs out onto the streets
was 'a public insult,' as it was a blind imitation of Westerners.
16.A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to
give her an examination to determine the cause of her
daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor
about 2 seconds to say "Gimmee a break lady! Your daughter is
pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor
that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation
by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced
the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged an
screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to
me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that
the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men
came. I was hoping they would show up again and help me figure out who got your
daughter pregnant".