Technology Talk For Country Folk

LOG ON:

Making a wood stove hot

LOG OFF:

  Too much wood on fire

MONITOR:

  Keep's an eye on the wood stove

DOWN LOAD:

  Getting the firewood off the truck

MEGA HERTZ:

  When your not careful getting the firewood

FLOPPY DISC:

  What you get from trying to tote too much firewood

RAM:

  That there thing what splits the firewood

HARD DRIVE:

  Getting home in the winter time

WINDOWS:

  What to shut when its cold outside

SCREEN:

  What to shut when its black fly season

BYTE:

  What them dang flies do

CHIP:

  Munchies for the TV

MICRO CHIP:

  What's in the bottom of the munchies bag

MODEM:

  What you do to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX:

  Ole Dan Matrix's wife

LAP TOP:

  Where the kitty sleeps

KEYBOARD:

  Where you hang the dang truck keys

SOFTWARE:

  Them dang plastic forks and knifes

MOUSE:

  What eats the grain in the barn

MOUSE PAD:

  That's hippie talk for where the mouse lives

MAINFRAME:

  Holds up the barn roof

PORT:

  Fancy flatlander wine

ENTER:

  Northerner talk for "C'mon in y'all"

CLICK:

  What you hear when you cock your gun

DOUBLE CLICK:

What you hear when you cock the double barrel

REBOOT:

  What you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse